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The Servant Project

 

“even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28 ESV)

The process of becoming a servant is one of the most difficult things a Christian can experience. There is something about the heart that is involved, in becoming like Jesus, the one who came to serve and not to be served. There is something in our hearts that desires to be wanted, to be loved with an intimate love that will look at us and say, “I desire you, I am pleased in you.” Serving is much more than picking up a shovel and digging up a well for someone else. It is more than handing a glass of water to a thirsty passerby. It is the giving of you. When I think about serving, it is about having that intimate moment when you give “you” to another person knowing that you may not receive anything in return except a smile, a handshake or just the trail of the person walking away into the distance. 

I define intimacy not as the world does in terms of sexual encounters, romantic chaos or even lustful desires. Intimacy is that desire to be wanted for the sake of knowing your identity and true worth. Intimacy is the collision of your desires and heart with the love of someone who causes you to drop to your knees in awe because you acknowledge that you did not deserve that love, yet you received it freely. I think about how becoming a servant is similar to become a heir, because in becoming a heir, you recognize that you have flaws and blemishes, but the person who adopted you overlooked them or may I say, nursed them so that you could put on that robe and sit by his or her side. When a servant is chosen, he is not chosen because of his or her beauty, nor dare I say ability, but because the servant caught the master’s eyes and the master decided to give this servant a chance, a chance to live a life of service. The master saw in the servant’s heart a desire to give of themselves, without asking for anything in return. The servant was willing to give himself or herself regardless of the cost.

I recently heard a statement that shook my theology. My vision refocused on this one statement: “You know you are or have become a servant when someone treats you like one and you are ok with it.” I realized that I have not accepted my role as a servant. I realized that I have not yet come to desire service over my own reputation and leadership. I am not yet “ok” at the fact that people often times treat me like a servant not because they demean me but because I have been called into service.

But then I heard this today: “As long as God’s church is here, as long as true worshipers are here, the people out there…they still have a chance, they have a hope” (Pastor William Caroll). And that in itself made me realized over the past 6 months that I live to know God and to fight on the trenches of the battlefield as a servant for people, people like Jordan, a sophomore at NYU, who is experiencing the knowledge of God. I live to be conformed into the image of the Servant above all servants, who came to give of Himself so that I could live today. And so all I can offer is me, me in the most broken state yet used as a weak vessel to fight for people who will come to know the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I live to serve people in encouraging the body of Christ, cheering on those who are broken, just as myself, so that they can go forth and proclaim the Gospel. God commissioned my life to cry for the poor and broken in Spirit so that they may see Jesus. God placed me in a time such as this so that I could pray over brothers and sisters who would then get up from their brokenness and give of themselves to others.

Thus, I long to become a follower of Jesus, while at the same time learning to embrace my identity as a servant, who longs for intimacy with the Father, because He chose me when something in me caught His eyes. So as I journey into the final lap at NYU, I long to serve people, by giving of myself, while pursuing a more intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.